| SpongeOsophy Essay "FRAMES" Enjoying Today |
Have you ever thought that your life was some kind of crazy movie? Sometimes it
seems as if we are watching things in our lives unfold that are so bad (or even so
good) that it seems like a movie we can’t turn off. We sit back and become
overwhelmed about what is happening. Sometimes we become so engrossed in
a movie we become obsessed with how it will end. Life is like a movie. So is
bowling, to an extent, for me.
One thing I tell people that I coach at bowling is to focus on the ball they are
about to throw. Don’t think about the last one. Don’t think about the next one.
Rule #1 in bowling (for me) is have fun. Rule #2 is don’t get mad at yourself. The
last ball you threw may have been a tanker, but no amount of anger about that
ball will change what happened. In fact, being angry about it will only make you
lose focus on the ball you need to throw right now. Time and time again I have
thrown a real piece of crap only to follow it up with another simply because I didn’t
focus on the task at hand.
The same thing applies to the next frame of bowling. If you are so worried about
how to adjust for the next strike ball, you won’t be focused on how to pick up the
spare you need to make right now. Or, if you are on a roll, don’t think about the
end of the game. Many times in my life I blew perfect games in perhaps the
seventh or eight frame simply because I was concentrating on finishing with a
perfect game.
We tend to do these things when watching movies too. We become so engrossed
with how the film will end that we miss the action in the current “frame.” Have you
ever been watching a movie, analyzing everything, perhaps discussing things with
others around you that you totally miss what just happened? Why not
concentrate on things as they unfold? No amount of obsessing on your part will
change how that movie will end. Instead, you will mess enjoying something
amazing.
Sometimes we worry so much about our past that we lose focus on the here and
now. In my life the awful things that happened to me affected every action and
relationship I ever had. I had been hurt so many times that it became difficult to
trust anyone. That isn’t fair to those that love me and care about me. Should I
expect everyone in my life to do me wrong just because others in my past had?
Of course not. But we all have done that, haven’t we? And it has cost us dearly
in our personal and professional lives. Instead of basing our opinion of our new
relationships on the current person, we expect the worst. Then poof, we have
sabotaged our lives once again.
Sometimes we obsess about our future. Perhaps we know our lives are going to
get worse. Those of us with serious diseases sometimes worry about what is
going to happen at the end of our “life movie.” For me, I know I have a very ugly
death ahead of me. When I first learned of this, I wasted three years of my life
waiting to die. I thought, the end will be here sometime, and it is going to be bad,
so why try to do anything with my life? Why bother dating anyone, because they
are simply going to run away when the ugly time comes? Why try to have any
kind of professional life, since it will all come crashing down?
I wasted THREE years of my life waiting to die. Wanting to die. There were
wonderful things going on in the world that I robbed myself from enjoying because
all I thought about was the ugly last frame of my life. Then I saw the movie
“Hawks” and it changed my life. Like Bancroft (Timothy Dalton) in that movie, it
wasn’t death I was afraid of, it was life. Well, I had the same revelation that he
did. If I knew my life was about to end tomorrow, what would I do today? Would I
waste the last full day of my life waiting for tomorrow to come? Or should I enjoy
today all that I can? I choose to live, and enjoy today.
Those of you with bad health that read this, I want to ask you something. Okay,
so you only have perhaps a few years, months, whatever, left to live. What is
different between you and any healthy person? A healthy person could go out
and be killed in a car crash tomorrow. I, as a very ill person, view myself as very
lucky. Whoa, hold on Sponge, how can you consider yourself lucky with that
awful disease that is eating you up inside? I am lucky because I got the chance to
see my own mortality and make things right in my life. I have the chance to do all
of those things I had forgotten about, or simply said, “I will get to it tomorrow.”
Well, all of us, healthy and sick, may not get a tomorrow! Wake up and live!
Make things right in your life.
Enjoy here and now, for this could be your last day. Don’t look to the last frame
of your life. Don’t look back to the first, except for motivation to be a better
person. Don’t borrow problems from tomorrow. Fix the ones you have today.
I don’t know exactly when my life movie will end. I am enjoying the magnificent
work that went into making this frame so beautiful.
I don’t know how this game of bowling will end. I don’t look at the scores, so I don’
t know if I am winning or losing. I threw a gutter ball last time, that’s okay. I may
not get to finish the game, that is okay too. But by God, here I am, digging my
feet into the approach for this one frame. I am going to make sure it is a strike.
Be well,
Sponge
09/05/2005
seems as if we are watching things in our lives unfold that are so bad (or even so
good) that it seems like a movie we can’t turn off. We sit back and become
overwhelmed about what is happening. Sometimes we become so engrossed in
a movie we become obsessed with how it will end. Life is like a movie. So is
bowling, to an extent, for me.
One thing I tell people that I coach at bowling is to focus on the ball they are
about to throw. Don’t think about the last one. Don’t think about the next one.
Rule #1 in bowling (for me) is have fun. Rule #2 is don’t get mad at yourself. The
last ball you threw may have been a tanker, but no amount of anger about that
ball will change what happened. In fact, being angry about it will only make you
lose focus on the ball you need to throw right now. Time and time again I have
thrown a real piece of crap only to follow it up with another simply because I didn’t
focus on the task at hand.
The same thing applies to the next frame of bowling. If you are so worried about
how to adjust for the next strike ball, you won’t be focused on how to pick up the
spare you need to make right now. Or, if you are on a roll, don’t think about the
end of the game. Many times in my life I blew perfect games in perhaps the
seventh or eight frame simply because I was concentrating on finishing with a
perfect game.
We tend to do these things when watching movies too. We become so engrossed
with how the film will end that we miss the action in the current “frame.” Have you
ever been watching a movie, analyzing everything, perhaps discussing things with
others around you that you totally miss what just happened? Why not
concentrate on things as they unfold? No amount of obsessing on your part will
change how that movie will end. Instead, you will mess enjoying something
amazing.
Sometimes we worry so much about our past that we lose focus on the here and
now. In my life the awful things that happened to me affected every action and
relationship I ever had. I had been hurt so many times that it became difficult to
trust anyone. That isn’t fair to those that love me and care about me. Should I
expect everyone in my life to do me wrong just because others in my past had?
Of course not. But we all have done that, haven’t we? And it has cost us dearly
in our personal and professional lives. Instead of basing our opinion of our new
relationships on the current person, we expect the worst. Then poof, we have
sabotaged our lives once again.
Sometimes we obsess about our future. Perhaps we know our lives are going to
get worse. Those of us with serious diseases sometimes worry about what is
going to happen at the end of our “life movie.” For me, I know I have a very ugly
death ahead of me. When I first learned of this, I wasted three years of my life
waiting to die. I thought, the end will be here sometime, and it is going to be bad,
so why try to do anything with my life? Why bother dating anyone, because they
are simply going to run away when the ugly time comes? Why try to have any
kind of professional life, since it will all come crashing down?
I wasted THREE years of my life waiting to die. Wanting to die. There were
wonderful things going on in the world that I robbed myself from enjoying because
all I thought about was the ugly last frame of my life. Then I saw the movie
“Hawks” and it changed my life. Like Bancroft (Timothy Dalton) in that movie, it
wasn’t death I was afraid of, it was life. Well, I had the same revelation that he
did. If I knew my life was about to end tomorrow, what would I do today? Would I
waste the last full day of my life waiting for tomorrow to come? Or should I enjoy
today all that I can? I choose to live, and enjoy today.
Those of you with bad health that read this, I want to ask you something. Okay,
so you only have perhaps a few years, months, whatever, left to live. What is
different between you and any healthy person? A healthy person could go out
and be killed in a car crash tomorrow. I, as a very ill person, view myself as very
lucky. Whoa, hold on Sponge, how can you consider yourself lucky with that
awful disease that is eating you up inside? I am lucky because I got the chance to
see my own mortality and make things right in my life. I have the chance to do all
of those things I had forgotten about, or simply said, “I will get to it tomorrow.”
Well, all of us, healthy and sick, may not get a tomorrow! Wake up and live!
Make things right in your life.
Enjoy here and now, for this could be your last day. Don’t look to the last frame
of your life. Don’t look back to the first, except for motivation to be a better
person. Don’t borrow problems from tomorrow. Fix the ones you have today.
I don’t know exactly when my life movie will end. I am enjoying the magnificent
work that went into making this frame so beautiful.
I don’t know how this game of bowling will end. I don’t look at the scores, so I don’
t know if I am winning or losing. I threw a gutter ball last time, that’s okay. I may
not get to finish the game, that is okay too. But by God, here I am, digging my
feet into the approach for this one frame. I am going to make sure it is a strike.
Be well,
Sponge
09/05/2005
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