| Love is not a four-letter word |
It only took me until I was 37 years old to "get it." Many years of getting hurt and hurting
others, using "love" as a word to get what I wanted, and having it used against me. I don't
know how many times I thought I "loved" someone only to discover later on that what I
felt wasn't love, but either infatuation or something else.
It took reading the Bible for me to understand what "love" really meant. Okay, roll your
eyes, but God's word really does offer some powerful life lessons, and they shouldn't be
ignored. I read in His book that we are supposed to love others like God loves us. God
loves us no matter what we do. No matter how bad our transgressions, he still loves us.
No matter how many times I have turned my back on Him, he has never turned his back on
me.
I took that lesson and applied it to my life. When you truly love someone, it is NOT about
you. It is all about them. If you love them, you love them whether they disappoint you or
not. My love for my family should not be based on what they do for me, but rather what I
can do for them. So that means doing a chore that is supposed to be my son's, and not
throwing it in his face. Doing his chore just to say, "Hey, look what I did for you," is the
wrong way to love. I do his chore because I love him and it will be one less thing on his
plate that day. If he never thanks me for it, I am not going to get angry or throw it back
at him. Again, it is not about me, it is about him. If I were to expect something in return,
then I don't love him, I love myself.
I love my wife. I should love my wife whether or not she takes care of my needs or not.
Now I would hope that she does things for me, but because she loves me, not because she
feels she owes me. If we all loved our family or friends in this manner, the whole world
would be a much better place.
Now, I am not suggesting that we build this utopian society where we all sit around singing
"Kumbaya." Some people are jerks and not worth the time. Rather than saying, "You're a
jerk, but I love you anyway," a better thing would be to not associate with them. There
are members of my family whom I love dearly. However, things they have done to me or
others hurt me in some ways. So, yes, I will continue to love them, but I remove myself
from their presence so that I avoid the hurt they cause. I am sure we all have a cousin or
a brother like that.
others, using "love" as a word to get what I wanted, and having it used against me. I don't
know how many times I thought I "loved" someone only to discover later on that what I
felt wasn't love, but either infatuation or something else.
It took reading the Bible for me to understand what "love" really meant. Okay, roll your
eyes, but God's word really does offer some powerful life lessons, and they shouldn't be
ignored. I read in His book that we are supposed to love others like God loves us. God
loves us no matter what we do. No matter how bad our transgressions, he still loves us.
No matter how many times I have turned my back on Him, he has never turned his back on
me.
I took that lesson and applied it to my life. When you truly love someone, it is NOT about
you. It is all about them. If you love them, you love them whether they disappoint you or
not. My love for my family should not be based on what they do for me, but rather what I
can do for them. So that means doing a chore that is supposed to be my son's, and not
throwing it in his face. Doing his chore just to say, "Hey, look what I did for you," is the
wrong way to love. I do his chore because I love him and it will be one less thing on his
plate that day. If he never thanks me for it, I am not going to get angry or throw it back
at him. Again, it is not about me, it is about him. If I were to expect something in return,
then I don't love him, I love myself.
I love my wife. I should love my wife whether or not she takes care of my needs or not.
Now I would hope that she does things for me, but because she loves me, not because she
feels she owes me. If we all loved our family or friends in this manner, the whole world
would be a much better place.
Now, I am not suggesting that we build this utopian society where we all sit around singing
"Kumbaya." Some people are jerks and not worth the time. Rather than saying, "You're a
jerk, but I love you anyway," a better thing would be to not associate with them. There
are members of my family whom I love dearly. However, things they have done to me or
others hurt me in some ways. So, yes, I will continue to love them, but I remove myself
from their presence so that I avoid the hurt they cause. I am sure we all have a cousin or
a brother like that.
