| Regret is a Dangerous Emotion |
Why Is regret dangerous?
Regret happens to all of us eventually. Regret occurs when time has passed us by and we
all look at our lives and say "What if I had..." Well, this is what leads men in their 40s to
cheat on their wives, buy expensive sports cars, etc. Regret is the chief contributor to
mid-life crises. When we see that our lives are suddenly half over, we panic to try to do
the things we always wanted to.
What is the solution?
As early as you can in your life, make a list of your main goals, ten is a good number to
start with. No matter what they are, foke on those goals and seeing them to fruition.
Whatever you value for your life, keep striving towards that. When we do not have goals we
tend to stagnate. As I have said before, when you stop moving forward you start moving
backwards, and that is dangerous. So many people look like zombies just going through the
motions day after day, subsisting one week to the next. Set goals and work for them.
However, in this process, be wise and do not let the means to a goal become the goal itself.
What I mean by this is, do not let a career become more important than the reasons you
have a career. One question I ask a lot of stressed out workaholics I talk to is, "Do you
have a career to support your famly, or a family to support your career?" For myself,
bowling is the MEANS by which I hope to set an example for other disabled people, not the
end. Bowling is my way to get off a government check and support my family, not to have my
family support my bowling.
Once I started working afer my first bout of disability, I shamefully lost that vision. I
was working up to 96 hours per week. All I cared about was moving up the job ladder. No
matter how much money I made, it never seemed like enough. Thankfully God gave me
another brush with death to help me put things back in perspective. I will not squander this
chance again.
What if I can't reach my goal?
As I have said before, not achieving a goal is NOT failure. You only fail if you stop striving
for that or any other goal. Thomas Edison and other inventors did not give up with their
first errant attempt. If they had, we still would be using Warm Morning stoves to heat our
homes. When you give up, you lose the game of life and become just another zombie. For
your sake, do NOT let that happen.
Dream BIG
There is no such thing as too big of a dream. Look at all of the people who came to this
great country with literally nothing, but they had dreams, and they worked for them. One
thing I have learned is that no dream is too big or too grandiose. John Kennedy said that we
chose to go to the moon and do other things "Not because they are easy, but because they
are hard." He was, and still is, right.
Rick Hansen, one of my role models, could have easily sat back in his wheelchair and lived
off of the dole. I am sure that when he came up with the idea for the Man in Motion
tour-wheeling the equivalent of the circumference of the earth-some around him were
nay-sayers.
Well, Rick took slightly over two years, but he did it. He wheeled over 24,000 miles
through dozens of countries to raise over $26,000,000 for spinal-cord reasearch and raise
awareness of people with disabilities. His motto, which hangs above my desk, is, "If you
believe in a dream and have the courage to try, great things can be accomplished." I live by
this now. Some around me think my goal of being an example for other disabled people is a
grandiose pipe dream, but they don't know the possibilities. Warrior has taught me the
concept of "Foke." Foke is an intense concentration of your mind, spirit, body all towards
the task at hand. Once I adapted this concept, I learned that there are many things I can
do, even when in great pain, if I just foke on the goal. I may not achieve this goal, but it will
not be from lack of effort. All I am is going into this, and I will not stop until I either get
there, or die trying.
Take Chances
If there is something you want to try, go for it. If you don't, the old specter of regret
will darken your door years down the road. How many of us have ran into an old
girlfriend/boyfriend and wondered how life would be only if... Well, if there is someone out
there you want to date, GO FOR IT! Do not marry someone else down the road only to have
them pay for your regret. If you don't put your heart on the line, you never may know the
true joys which await you. If Raine and I had not taken the big chance on each other, I
would probably still be a sedated zombie content to survive day to day. I am so glad we
tried.
Some think it is foolish of me to write letters to the media to ask for their help in
spreading this message. Well, what is the worst that can happen? They don't contact me?
Guess what, if I hadn't written the letters, they wouldn't have contacted me anyway, I
have lost nothing. Heck, I even faxed the White House. If you are going to dream, dream
BIG.
Be well,
Sponge
Regret happens to all of us eventually. Regret occurs when time has passed us by and we
all look at our lives and say "What if I had..." Well, this is what leads men in their 40s to
cheat on their wives, buy expensive sports cars, etc. Regret is the chief contributor to
mid-life crises. When we see that our lives are suddenly half over, we panic to try to do
the things we always wanted to.
What is the solution?
As early as you can in your life, make a list of your main goals, ten is a good number to
start with. No matter what they are, foke on those goals and seeing them to fruition.
Whatever you value for your life, keep striving towards that. When we do not have goals we
tend to stagnate. As I have said before, when you stop moving forward you start moving
backwards, and that is dangerous. So many people look like zombies just going through the
motions day after day, subsisting one week to the next. Set goals and work for them.
However, in this process, be wise and do not let the means to a goal become the goal itself.
What I mean by this is, do not let a career become more important than the reasons you
have a career. One question I ask a lot of stressed out workaholics I talk to is, "Do you
have a career to support your famly, or a family to support your career?" For myself,
bowling is the MEANS by which I hope to set an example for other disabled people, not the
end. Bowling is my way to get off a government check and support my family, not to have my
family support my bowling.
Once I started working afer my first bout of disability, I shamefully lost that vision. I
was working up to 96 hours per week. All I cared about was moving up the job ladder. No
matter how much money I made, it never seemed like enough. Thankfully God gave me
another brush with death to help me put things back in perspective. I will not squander this
chance again.
What if I can't reach my goal?
As I have said before, not achieving a goal is NOT failure. You only fail if you stop striving
for that or any other goal. Thomas Edison and other inventors did not give up with their
first errant attempt. If they had, we still would be using Warm Morning stoves to heat our
homes. When you give up, you lose the game of life and become just another zombie. For
your sake, do NOT let that happen.
Dream BIG
There is no such thing as too big of a dream. Look at all of the people who came to this
great country with literally nothing, but they had dreams, and they worked for them. One
thing I have learned is that no dream is too big or too grandiose. John Kennedy said that we
chose to go to the moon and do other things "Not because they are easy, but because they
are hard." He was, and still is, right.
Rick Hansen, one of my role models, could have easily sat back in his wheelchair and lived
off of the dole. I am sure that when he came up with the idea for the Man in Motion
tour-wheeling the equivalent of the circumference of the earth-some around him were
nay-sayers.
Well, Rick took slightly over two years, but he did it. He wheeled over 24,000 miles
through dozens of countries to raise over $26,000,000 for spinal-cord reasearch and raise
awareness of people with disabilities. His motto, which hangs above my desk, is, "If you
believe in a dream and have the courage to try, great things can be accomplished." I live by
this now. Some around me think my goal of being an example for other disabled people is a
grandiose pipe dream, but they don't know the possibilities. Warrior has taught me the
concept of "Foke." Foke is an intense concentration of your mind, spirit, body all towards
the task at hand. Once I adapted this concept, I learned that there are many things I can
do, even when in great pain, if I just foke on the goal. I may not achieve this goal, but it will
not be from lack of effort. All I am is going into this, and I will not stop until I either get
there, or die trying.
Take Chances
If there is something you want to try, go for it. If you don't, the old specter of regret
will darken your door years down the road. How many of us have ran into an old
girlfriend/boyfriend and wondered how life would be only if... Well, if there is someone out
there you want to date, GO FOR IT! Do not marry someone else down the road only to have
them pay for your regret. If you don't put your heart on the line, you never may know the
true joys which await you. If Raine and I had not taken the big chance on each other, I
would probably still be a sedated zombie content to survive day to day. I am so glad we
tried.
Some think it is foolish of me to write letters to the media to ask for their help in
spreading this message. Well, what is the worst that can happen? They don't contact me?
Guess what, if I hadn't written the letters, they wouldn't have contacted me anyway, I
have lost nothing. Heck, I even faxed the White House. If you are going to dream, dream
BIG.
Be well,
Sponge
