| SUCCESS VS. FAILURE |
Too many times in my life the goals I set for myself have not panned out. I worked 60
hours a week to get through college to become an accountant, only to have my body fail me.
The period of disability that followed was a low point. I wasted so much time telling
myself how I had failed.
I could not find anyone willing to look past my disability and give me an accounting job, so
I got a job bagging groceries for minimum wage at H-E-B in Georgetown, Texas. Within a
year I was promoted to assistant service manager and had my pay nearly doubled. After
Ally was born my first wife, Kim, and I decided to return to Kentucky. I took a job as an
assistant manager for a burger place in Murray, Kentucky. Within a few years the Crohn's
and the bipolar disorder put me out of commission for some time again. A few years later
I took a job in the banking industry and things went fine for a while. But as time passed,
the illness came back full bore and the doctor told me it was time to retire, that I
obviously could not work full time. Once again I lamented what I saw as my failure. I went
on disabliity for the fourth time.
These events were caused by cirumstances I could not control, yet I insisted on wearing
a hair shirt about it all. I was very angry with myself that my wife had to work to support
me and our financial situation is just above the poverty line. When Raine went into a coma
last year, my sense of failure became worse. Here I am on the verge of a professional
bowling career, and the illnesses are working against me again, yes I became very angry.
Warrior (as in Ultimate) emailed me again and told me to knock it off and stop pitying
myself. He said what others were afraid to say, and I thank him for it; he is a good friend.
I realize now that commitment, in and of itself, is a success. Whether you "lose" or "fail"
is irrelevant if you give it your all. Not achieving a goal is not failure, not reaching for
a goal is the failure. The commitment and the effort become the success.
If an illness or something else blocks your path, find a new path. Find a way around the
roadblock. Find a new career alternative. I chose bowling because it gives me the
freedom to take a week off to recuperate if need be; no fear of getting fired. Look at
Rick Hansen, he is a parapalegic who wheelchaired over 24,000 miles to raise money for
research, he is no failure. Look at Christopher Reeve, a quadrapalegic who still acts. Look
at the singer Anastascia, she has Crohn's, and isn't ashamed of her scar. In 2003 she was
struck with breast cancer, but a few months later was back on stage singing "The Bi*** is
Back." She is another one of my heroes.
If you do not achieve a goal, set a new goal and strive for it. Never stop setting goals for
yourself. To stop moving forward is to start moving backward, that is the law of physics.
Aiming for goals keeps me foked, determined, and strong.
Be well,
Sponge
hours a week to get through college to become an accountant, only to have my body fail me.
The period of disability that followed was a low point. I wasted so much time telling
myself how I had failed.
I could not find anyone willing to look past my disability and give me an accounting job, so
I got a job bagging groceries for minimum wage at H-E-B in Georgetown, Texas. Within a
year I was promoted to assistant service manager and had my pay nearly doubled. After
Ally was born my first wife, Kim, and I decided to return to Kentucky. I took a job as an
assistant manager for a burger place in Murray, Kentucky. Within a few years the Crohn's
and the bipolar disorder put me out of commission for some time again. A few years later
I took a job in the banking industry and things went fine for a while. But as time passed,
the illness came back full bore and the doctor told me it was time to retire, that I
obviously could not work full time. Once again I lamented what I saw as my failure. I went
on disabliity for the fourth time.
These events were caused by cirumstances I could not control, yet I insisted on wearing
a hair shirt about it all. I was very angry with myself that my wife had to work to support
me and our financial situation is just above the poverty line. When Raine went into a coma
last year, my sense of failure became worse. Here I am on the verge of a professional
bowling career, and the illnesses are working against me again, yes I became very angry.
Warrior (as in Ultimate) emailed me again and told me to knock it off and stop pitying
myself. He said what others were afraid to say, and I thank him for it; he is a good friend.
I realize now that commitment, in and of itself, is a success. Whether you "lose" or "fail"
is irrelevant if you give it your all. Not achieving a goal is not failure, not reaching for
a goal is the failure. The commitment and the effort become the success.
If an illness or something else blocks your path, find a new path. Find a way around the
roadblock. Find a new career alternative. I chose bowling because it gives me the
freedom to take a week off to recuperate if need be; no fear of getting fired. Look at
Rick Hansen, he is a parapalegic who wheelchaired over 24,000 miles to raise money for
research, he is no failure. Look at Christopher Reeve, a quadrapalegic who still acts. Look
at the singer Anastascia, she has Crohn's, and isn't ashamed of her scar. In 2003 she was
struck with breast cancer, but a few months later was back on stage singing "The Bi*** is
Back." She is another one of my heroes.
If you do not achieve a goal, set a new goal and strive for it. Never stop setting goals for
yourself. To stop moving forward is to start moving backward, that is the law of physics.
Aiming for goals keeps me foked, determined, and strong.
Be well,
Sponge
