I have referred to this in several posts and have been asked to define exactly what I
mean by this. This is going to be a rather long and lengthy essay, for it means so
many things.
First of all, it refers to the power created when one digs down really deep for that
extra something. Faith in your SELF can help you move muscles you thought had
no strength left. Belief in your SELF will give you the creativity to write that poem or
short story that has been spinning around in your head for some time. BELIEVE in
YOU. There is a song by Celine Dion called “The Power of the Dream” that says,
“for since the dawn of man, the strength of just I CAN….” I know it sounds corny
and cliché, but there really is incredible power to be tapped in there. When the
chips are down, dig down for that something and you will be amazed at how
powerful you really are. Once you know that you have this power, you will have
much more confidence in your day-to-day activities.
Warrior-my friend, mentor and life coach-showed me that very power. He showed
me that everything I needed to chase my dreams was buried within me, my SELF.
His firm guidance let me dig down for that extra part of me that I didn’t know I had.
All of his cheering and pep talks were nothing if I couldn’t find the power in my
SELF, by my SELF.
All too often we listen to the doubters around us. We listen to those in our present
and past who call us losers and tell us “why bother.” This is where another
definition of the power of SELF comes in. KNOW WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU
CAN DO.
So many years of my life I lacked the confidence to do many things. In my early
years of bowling someone that was considered an expert told me that I would never
be any good. Well, look at me now! So many years I let the voice of my father
haunt me in my every activity. I would go about my life thinking that I was the waste
of flesh he treated me as. I had absolutely no internal SELF-esteem. My self-
esteem was derived by who I was with. The drop dead gorgeous trophy girl I had in
college made me feel great about myself. After all, look at her, she digs me, I must
be okay! The problem with this type of external self-esteem is that when the
external source is removed, life becomes very dark. I derived my whole sense of
self from that relationship. When she buggered off, I was empty. I would compare
that feeling to taking drugs away from an addict. Panic, darkness, all of it.
When my first wife left because of my health problems, the darkness set in again.
For a brief time I flitted from one relationship to another; as long as I had someone,
I must be okay. Then Raine came into my life. She taught me how to love my
SELF. I can remember all of the arguments we had that pretty much boiled down to
one sentence, “Why don’t you believe in you like I believe in you.” She made it very
clear that I had to start loving my SELF before I could ever properly love her. When
your love for someone is a dependant love like I used to have, honesty and
openness go out of a relationship. You do whatever it takes to keep your spouse
happy, as long as they stay. Over time this causes resentment and anger, and loss
of love. I am so thankful Raine told me to love my SELF or else. It was a difficult
struggle to realize that I had value because of who I was, not what I did or who I was
with. Raine did something I never could, she silenced the ghost of my father.
Don’t let anyone but YOU set your limits. For me, that means I throw the bowling
ball. How do they know I won’t be a winner? Are they the ones doing it? No, they
aren’t. They can say all of those negative things because they don’t have the
ability that I do. They are lacking the power of SELF, not me. If I listened to those
who said I never could, I never would have.
For the sick and disabled this means one more important thing-SELF
determination. Who, pray tell, is the boss between you and your doctor? Are you
the patient who is paying the doctor for services, or are you his lab rat that eats
whatever medicine and scurries around in a maze? I have been down the “doctor’s
orders” path and found it most unpleasant. Over and over again shrinks would tell
me to take this pill or that pill and I would blindly swallow them. Well, faithfully
following doctors orders cost me dearly; one of my former medicines destroyed my
pancreas.
Look in the mirror. I am sure you can find something to like about the person in
there. The person, not the reflection. Ask someone you trust to list your good
qualities for you. Then ask them to list the bad. Write your own lists at the same
time. You might be surprised to see that the negatives you see about yourself are
invisible to most, or at least, irrelevant.
There will always be those that chide you out of envy. Don’t let them take away
your power of self. Realize that they are just more pigeons who can only feel good
about themselves by focusing on the faults of others. Their own faults are too
much for them to bear, so they have to compare themselves to you and whatever
your faults are. Don’t be a pigeon; be a Hawk and soar above the ordinary. Hey,
we all have faults, big deal. No perfect person has walked this earth for 2,000
years. Do you think you are the second coming? Accept your faults and try to
improve on them. You will find that as you defeat your faults, your sense of SELF
will grow tenfold.
Be well,
Sponge
11/16/2004
mean by this. This is going to be a rather long and lengthy essay, for it means so
many things.
First of all, it refers to the power created when one digs down really deep for that
extra something. Faith in your SELF can help you move muscles you thought had
no strength left. Belief in your SELF will give you the creativity to write that poem or
short story that has been spinning around in your head for some time. BELIEVE in
YOU. There is a song by Celine Dion called “The Power of the Dream” that says,
“for since the dawn of man, the strength of just I CAN….” I know it sounds corny
and cliché, but there really is incredible power to be tapped in there. When the
chips are down, dig down for that something and you will be amazed at how
powerful you really are. Once you know that you have this power, you will have
much more confidence in your day-to-day activities.
Warrior-my friend, mentor and life coach-showed me that very power. He showed
me that everything I needed to chase my dreams was buried within me, my SELF.
His firm guidance let me dig down for that extra part of me that I didn’t know I had.
All of his cheering and pep talks were nothing if I couldn’t find the power in my
SELF, by my SELF.
All too often we listen to the doubters around us. We listen to those in our present
and past who call us losers and tell us “why bother.” This is where another
definition of the power of SELF comes in. KNOW WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU
CAN DO.
So many years of my life I lacked the confidence to do many things. In my early
years of bowling someone that was considered an expert told me that I would never
be any good. Well, look at me now! So many years I let the voice of my father
haunt me in my every activity. I would go about my life thinking that I was the waste
of flesh he treated me as. I had absolutely no internal SELF-esteem. My self-
esteem was derived by who I was with. The drop dead gorgeous trophy girl I had in
college made me feel great about myself. After all, look at her, she digs me, I must
be okay! The problem with this type of external self-esteem is that when the
external source is removed, life becomes very dark. I derived my whole sense of
self from that relationship. When she buggered off, I was empty. I would compare
that feeling to taking drugs away from an addict. Panic, darkness, all of it.
When my first wife left because of my health problems, the darkness set in again.
For a brief time I flitted from one relationship to another; as long as I had someone,
I must be okay. Then Raine came into my life. She taught me how to love my
SELF. I can remember all of the arguments we had that pretty much boiled down to
one sentence, “Why don’t you believe in you like I believe in you.” She made it very
clear that I had to start loving my SELF before I could ever properly love her. When
your love for someone is a dependant love like I used to have, honesty and
openness go out of a relationship. You do whatever it takes to keep your spouse
happy, as long as they stay. Over time this causes resentment and anger, and loss
of love. I am so thankful Raine told me to love my SELF or else. It was a difficult
struggle to realize that I had value because of who I was, not what I did or who I was
with. Raine did something I never could, she silenced the ghost of my father.
Don’t let anyone but YOU set your limits. For me, that means I throw the bowling
ball. How do they know I won’t be a winner? Are they the ones doing it? No, they
aren’t. They can say all of those negative things because they don’t have the
ability that I do. They are lacking the power of SELF, not me. If I listened to those
who said I never could, I never would have.
For the sick and disabled this means one more important thing-SELF
determination. Who, pray tell, is the boss between you and your doctor? Are you
the patient who is paying the doctor for services, or are you his lab rat that eats
whatever medicine and scurries around in a maze? I have been down the “doctor’s
orders” path and found it most unpleasant. Over and over again shrinks would tell
me to take this pill or that pill and I would blindly swallow them. Well, faithfully
following doctors orders cost me dearly; one of my former medicines destroyed my
pancreas.
Look in the mirror. I am sure you can find something to like about the person in
there. The person, not the reflection. Ask someone you trust to list your good
qualities for you. Then ask them to list the bad. Write your own lists at the same
time. You might be surprised to see that the negatives you see about yourself are
invisible to most, or at least, irrelevant.
There will always be those that chide you out of envy. Don’t let them take away
your power of self. Realize that they are just more pigeons who can only feel good
about themselves by focusing on the faults of others. Their own faults are too
much for them to bear, so they have to compare themselves to you and whatever
your faults are. Don’t be a pigeon; be a Hawk and soar above the ordinary. Hey,
we all have faults, big deal. No perfect person has walked this earth for 2,000
years. Do you think you are the second coming? Accept your faults and try to
improve on them. You will find that as you defeat your faults, your sense of SELF
will grow tenfold.
Be well,
Sponge
11/16/2004
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