| SPONGEOSOPHY ESSAY SONS The Brightest Light in a Man's Life |
When people think of the sun they think of the brightest object in the sky. People
see the sun as something that gives light, warmth, and life to this planet we call
home. Without the sun, there would be no life on earth. This essay is about the
fact that without my “son”, Alex, I would have no reason to live.
I often talk about my little girl, Ally. One essay, “Letting Go” was about the joy of
watching her grow up, and the pain that went with it. I have been asked a time or
two why I don’t talk about my boy Alex that much. There is good reason for that.
When I think of my son, my lips fail me, my hands have trouble typing, my mind
turns to slush.
Alex’s mother and I split when he was only 6 months old. I missed out on a great
many things, like seeing his first steps, hearing his first words, etc. There are
many things I did not get to teach him, and I regret with great pain those missed
lessons. For 9 of the 10 years of Alex’s life, I have only seen him 83 days per
year. I do all I can to cram everything possible in to those 83 days.
see the sun as something that gives light, warmth, and life to this planet we call
home. Without the sun, there would be no life on earth. This essay is about the
fact that without my “son”, Alex, I would have no reason to live.
I often talk about my little girl, Ally. One essay, “Letting Go” was about the joy of
watching her grow up, and the pain that went with it. I have been asked a time or
two why I don’t talk about my boy Alex that much. There is good reason for that.
When I think of my son, my lips fail me, my hands have trouble typing, my mind
turns to slush.
Alex’s mother and I split when he was only 6 months old. I missed out on a great
many things, like seeing his first steps, hearing his first words, etc. There are
many things I did not get to teach him, and I regret with great pain those missed
lessons. For 9 of the 10 years of Alex’s life, I have only seen him 83 days per
year. I do all I can to cram everything possible in to those 83 days.
A father wears many hats. One is provider, which I have failed at miserably. Providing
things for one’s kids is important, but I am sure many of you readers know people who’s
parents provided all material things the child could want, but are terrible human
beings. I have failed as a provider, but I have tried to make up for that by wearing the
other daddy hats more often. Friend, mentor, teacher, guide, role model. You know,
one of my best friends told me that when we become parents, life is still all about us, in
that we have to watch all of our actions, for we are being watched by our progeny.
Every move we make will be stored in their memory for them to guide themselves. I
have worked very hard to make my precious little gift from God into an asset to the
human race. When I became a father, I made a conscious effort to provide for my kids
the things that were sadly missing from my youth, by being the kind of parent I wished I
had in my childhood.
My little boy is everything a man could want in a son. In fact, he is more than I could
have ever asked him to be. I make my life about being of service to others. In fact, I
have a very real need to be “needed.” This probably stems from feeling that as long as
people “need” me, they will never harm me, nor leave me. For all of his life, Alex has
seen me push myself to and beyond my limits simply because someone needed my
help. He has seen me put my own needs aside for the sake of another. I have told him
that we are to love one another, and that true love means putting your own needs aside
for the sake of those you love.
Many times we as parents ask ourselves if we are doing a good job raising our kids.
Have we taught them all they need to know? Are they someone that we could be proud
of? What can we do better? I ask myself these questions all of the time. There is a
profound sense of urgency with me. I never know how much time I have left to give my
kids their life lessons. Have I done a good job? Being who I am, I feel I can never do
enough, I can never be too good a father for my little boy.
This last weekend my little boy showed me how very wrong I was. Alex showed me that I
had, in fact, raised him the right way. My little boy did something that brought his father
to tears. Proud? You bet I am.
I have been having major bouts with fatigue as of late, simply because keeping up with
all I do has become overwhelming. My volunteer work and other things have spread me
so thin that I am often exhausted. One of the household duties I have to tend to is
mowing the lawn. For the last few weeks when I have had the time to mow the grass, I
am either too tired or it is raining outside. I had wanted to have the mowing done
before Ally & Alex came for a visit so I could concentrate on them. But with the grass
getting too high and Kentucky weather being what it is, I knew I had to mow the grass
last Saturday, no matter how tired I was.
I mowed the front yard, then took a break, then mowed half the side yard and took a
break. When I finished the side yard and sat for another break, my little boy just sat
there watching the sweat roll down Daddy’s face as I struggled to keep my lytes in
balance. After a while I refilled the mower and started to mow the back yard, knowing
that when I finished this I would be too tired to spend much quality time with my babies.
The guilty feelings took over and I was quite irate, but it is one of those things in life that
sometimes can’t be helped. After a few passes around the yard I had made the turn
and started back up the small incline when I felt a little hand slide between mine onto
the bar of the mower. I looked down to see Alex’s very worried face. I shut off the
mower, thinking something was wrong only to hear the sweetest little voice say, “You’re
tired, let me help you Daddy.”
In a matter of seconds I realized that I had done a very good job raising my son (so
far). Here he was, just 10 years old. He could have been playing video games or
watching TV, but he chose to be with his Daddy. He did not just want to be with me,
Alex wanted to help me because he was worried about me and knew I needed help. I
must be a pretty good Dad for my child to do those things.
I spent the next while showing my son how to mow the yard. It was so very sweet, the
mower being almost as big as he is. We don’t realize that kids have to be shown how to
raise the front wheels to make the turn. It had been so long since we learned that we
took many of those small details for granted. Alex seemed to think that the mower was
too heavy for him to push. So Daddy helped his little boy. All I really did was put my
hand on the bar and make him think I was helping him push. In reality, he just needed
the confidence boost of knowing Dad was there. For what seemed like hours my baby
boy and I pushed, turned, threw sticks out of the way. I can’t remember the last time I
felt so very good inside.
All too soon the job was done. As we put the mower away Alex asked if I could wait until
their next visit, so that he could help me again. So that night, instead of collapsing into
my bed, I had the energy to spend some good time with my babies. Thank you Alex, for
looking after your Daddy.
The very next day Chris Barnes went on to win the PBA Tournament of Champions with
a lot of class and dignity. As he accepted his check and trophy I thought how proud he
must feel. As I looked over at my little boy I realized that no amount of bowling for
anything could make me as proud as I am right now.
Some parents want their kids to carry on the family name or legacy. My family name
really does not have much meaning to me. But as I type this my son is 200 miles away
at his mother’s house. I am immortal now. While I won’t live forever, what I believe and
stand for has been reborn into the most precious little boy. Nothing I ever do could
come close to topping that.
A few years ago Alex had to write a paper in school about someone he admired. Alex
chose to write about his daddy and all of the great things “Sponge Daddy” does. As
proud as he is of his father, there is no way he could ever be as proud as I am of my
son.
Be well,
Sponge
04/12/2006
things for one’s kids is important, but I am sure many of you readers know people who’s
parents provided all material things the child could want, but are terrible human
beings. I have failed as a provider, but I have tried to make up for that by wearing the
other daddy hats more often. Friend, mentor, teacher, guide, role model. You know,
one of my best friends told me that when we become parents, life is still all about us, in
that we have to watch all of our actions, for we are being watched by our progeny.
Every move we make will be stored in their memory for them to guide themselves. I
have worked very hard to make my precious little gift from God into an asset to the
human race. When I became a father, I made a conscious effort to provide for my kids
the things that were sadly missing from my youth, by being the kind of parent I wished I
had in my childhood.
My little boy is everything a man could want in a son. In fact, he is more than I could
have ever asked him to be. I make my life about being of service to others. In fact, I
have a very real need to be “needed.” This probably stems from feeling that as long as
people “need” me, they will never harm me, nor leave me. For all of his life, Alex has
seen me push myself to and beyond my limits simply because someone needed my
help. He has seen me put my own needs aside for the sake of another. I have told him
that we are to love one another, and that true love means putting your own needs aside
for the sake of those you love.
Many times we as parents ask ourselves if we are doing a good job raising our kids.
Have we taught them all they need to know? Are they someone that we could be proud
of? What can we do better? I ask myself these questions all of the time. There is a
profound sense of urgency with me. I never know how much time I have left to give my
kids their life lessons. Have I done a good job? Being who I am, I feel I can never do
enough, I can never be too good a father for my little boy.
This last weekend my little boy showed me how very wrong I was. Alex showed me that I
had, in fact, raised him the right way. My little boy did something that brought his father
to tears. Proud? You bet I am.
I have been having major bouts with fatigue as of late, simply because keeping up with
all I do has become overwhelming. My volunteer work and other things have spread me
so thin that I am often exhausted. One of the household duties I have to tend to is
mowing the lawn. For the last few weeks when I have had the time to mow the grass, I
am either too tired or it is raining outside. I had wanted to have the mowing done
before Ally & Alex came for a visit so I could concentrate on them. But with the grass
getting too high and Kentucky weather being what it is, I knew I had to mow the grass
last Saturday, no matter how tired I was.
I mowed the front yard, then took a break, then mowed half the side yard and took a
break. When I finished the side yard and sat for another break, my little boy just sat
there watching the sweat roll down Daddy’s face as I struggled to keep my lytes in
balance. After a while I refilled the mower and started to mow the back yard, knowing
that when I finished this I would be too tired to spend much quality time with my babies.
The guilty feelings took over and I was quite irate, but it is one of those things in life that
sometimes can’t be helped. After a few passes around the yard I had made the turn
and started back up the small incline when I felt a little hand slide between mine onto
the bar of the mower. I looked down to see Alex’s very worried face. I shut off the
mower, thinking something was wrong only to hear the sweetest little voice say, “You’re
tired, let me help you Daddy.”
In a matter of seconds I realized that I had done a very good job raising my son (so
far). Here he was, just 10 years old. He could have been playing video games or
watching TV, but he chose to be with his Daddy. He did not just want to be with me,
Alex wanted to help me because he was worried about me and knew I needed help. I
must be a pretty good Dad for my child to do those things.
I spent the next while showing my son how to mow the yard. It was so very sweet, the
mower being almost as big as he is. We don’t realize that kids have to be shown how to
raise the front wheels to make the turn. It had been so long since we learned that we
took many of those small details for granted. Alex seemed to think that the mower was
too heavy for him to push. So Daddy helped his little boy. All I really did was put my
hand on the bar and make him think I was helping him push. In reality, he just needed
the confidence boost of knowing Dad was there. For what seemed like hours my baby
boy and I pushed, turned, threw sticks out of the way. I can’t remember the last time I
felt so very good inside.
All too soon the job was done. As we put the mower away Alex asked if I could wait until
their next visit, so that he could help me again. So that night, instead of collapsing into
my bed, I had the energy to spend some good time with my babies. Thank you Alex, for
looking after your Daddy.
The very next day Chris Barnes went on to win the PBA Tournament of Champions with
a lot of class and dignity. As he accepted his check and trophy I thought how proud he
must feel. As I looked over at my little boy I realized that no amount of bowling for
anything could make me as proud as I am right now.
Some parents want their kids to carry on the family name or legacy. My family name
really does not have much meaning to me. But as I type this my son is 200 miles away
at his mother’s house. I am immortal now. While I won’t live forever, what I believe and
stand for has been reborn into the most precious little boy. Nothing I ever do could
come close to topping that.
A few years ago Alex had to write a paper in school about someone he admired. Alex
chose to write about his daddy and all of the great things “Sponge Daddy” does. As
proud as he is of his father, there is no way he could ever be as proud as I am of my
son.
Be well,
Sponge
04/12/2006
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