| Love is not a four-letter word |
It only took me until I was 37 years old to "get it." Many years of getting hurt and hurting others,
using "love" as a word to get what I wanted, and having it used against me. I don't know how
many times I thought I "loved" someone only to discover later on that what I felt wasn't love, but
either infatuation or something else.
It took reading the Bible for me to understand what "love" really meant. Okay, roll your eyes, but
God's word really does offer some powerful life lessons, and they shouldn't be ignored. I read
in His book that we are supposed to love others like God loves us. God loves us no matter
what we do. No matter how bad our transgressions, he still loves us. No matter how many
times I have turned my back on Him, he has never turned his back on me.
I took that lesson and applied it to my life. When you truly love someone, it is NOT about you. It
is all about them. If you love them, you love them whether they disappoint you or not. My love
for my family should not be based on what they do for me, but rather what I can do for them. So
that means doing a chore that is supposed to be my son's, and not throwing it in his face.
Doing his chore just to say, "Hey, look what I did for you," is the wrong way to love. I do his
chore because I love him and it will be one less thing on his plate that day. If he never thanks
me for it, I am not going to get angry or throw it back at him. Again, it is not about me, it is about
him. If I were to expect something in return, then I don't love him, I love myself.
Those of you that are married should love your spouse whether they satisfy all of your needs or
not. If they are truly in love with you, they will reciprocate. In a relationship of TRUE love,
neither partner ever has to worry about their own needs. Rather, they worry about their partner,
and their partner only worries about their spouse.
Now, I am not suggesting that we build this utopian society where we all sit around singing
"Kumbaya." Some people are jerks and not worth the time. Rather than saying, "You're a jerk,
but I love you anyway," a better thing would be to not associate with them. There are members
of my family whom I love dearly. However, things they have done to me or others hurt me in
some ways. So, yes, I will continue to love them, but I remove myself from their presence so
that I avoid the hurt they cause. I am sure we all have a cousin or a brother like that.
Be well,
Sponge
originally written 2004
using "love" as a word to get what I wanted, and having it used against me. I don't know how
many times I thought I "loved" someone only to discover later on that what I felt wasn't love, but
either infatuation or something else.
It took reading the Bible for me to understand what "love" really meant. Okay, roll your eyes, but
God's word really does offer some powerful life lessons, and they shouldn't be ignored. I read
in His book that we are supposed to love others like God loves us. God loves us no matter
what we do. No matter how bad our transgressions, he still loves us. No matter how many
times I have turned my back on Him, he has never turned his back on me.
I took that lesson and applied it to my life. When you truly love someone, it is NOT about you. It
is all about them. If you love them, you love them whether they disappoint you or not. My love
for my family should not be based on what they do for me, but rather what I can do for them. So
that means doing a chore that is supposed to be my son's, and not throwing it in his face.
Doing his chore just to say, "Hey, look what I did for you," is the wrong way to love. I do his
chore because I love him and it will be one less thing on his plate that day. If he never thanks
me for it, I am not going to get angry or throw it back at him. Again, it is not about me, it is about
him. If I were to expect something in return, then I don't love him, I love myself.
Those of you that are married should love your spouse whether they satisfy all of your needs or
not. If they are truly in love with you, they will reciprocate. In a relationship of TRUE love,
neither partner ever has to worry about their own needs. Rather, they worry about their partner,
and their partner only worries about their spouse.
Now, I am not suggesting that we build this utopian society where we all sit around singing
"Kumbaya." Some people are jerks and not worth the time. Rather than saying, "You're a jerk,
but I love you anyway," a better thing would be to not associate with them. There are members
of my family whom I love dearly. However, things they have done to me or others hurt me in
some ways. So, yes, I will continue to love them, but I remove myself from their presence so
that I avoid the hurt they cause. I am sure we all have a cousin or a brother like that.
Be well,
Sponge
originally written 2004
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
