| Regret is a Dangerous Emotion |
Why Is regret dangerous?
Regret happens to all of us eventually. Regret occurs when time has passed us by and we all
look at our lives and say "What if I had..." Well, this is what leads men in their 40s to cheat on
their wives, buy expensive sports cars, etc. Regret is the chief contributor to mid-life crises.
When we see that our lives are suddenly half over, we panic to try to do the things we always
wanted to.
What is the solution?
As early as you can in your life, make a list of your main goals, ten is a good number to start with.
No matter what they are, foke on those goals and seeing them to fruition. Whatever you value for
your life, keep striving towards that. When we do not have goals we tend to stagnate. As I have
said before, when you stop moving forward you start moving backwards, and that is dangerous.
So many people look like zombies just going through the motions day after day, subsisting one
week to the next. Set goals and work for them. However, in this process, be wise and do not let
the means to a goal become the goal itself. What I mean by this is, do not let a career become
more important than the reasons you have a career. One question I ask a lot of stressed out
workaholics I talk to is, "Do you have a career to support your family, or a family to support your
career?" For myself, bowling is the MEANS by which I hope to set an example for other disabled
people, not the end. Bowling is my way to get off a government check and support my family, not
to have my family support my bowling.
Once I started working after my first bout of disability, I shamefully lost that vision. I was working
up to 96 hours per week. All I cared about was moving up the job ladder. No matter how much
money I made, it never seemed like enough. Thankfully God gave me another brush with death
to help me put things back in perspective. I will not squander this chance again.
What if I can't reach my goal?
As I have said before, not achieving a goal is NOT failure. You only fail if you stop striving for that
or any other goal. Thomas Edison and other inventors did not give up with their first errant
attempt. If they had, we still would be using Warm Morning stoves to heat our homes. When you
give up, you lose the game of life and become just another zombie. For your sake, do NOT let
that happen.
Dream BIG
There is no such thing as too big of a dream. Look at all of the people who came to this great
country with literally nothing, but they had dreams, and they worked for them. One thing I have
learned is that no dream is too big or too grandiose. John Kennedy said that we chose to go to
the moon and do other things "Not because they are easy, but because they are hard." He was,
and still is, right.
Rick Hansen, one of my role models, could have easily sat back in his wheelchair and lived off of
the dole. I am sure that when he came up with the idea for the Man in Motion tour-wheeling the
equivalent of the circumference of the earth-some around him were nay-sayers.
Well, Rick took slightly over two years, but he did it. He wheeled over 24,000 miles through
dozens of countries to raise over $26,000,000 for spinal-cord research and raise awareness of
people with disabilities. His motto, which hangs above my desk, is, "If you believe in a dream
and have the courage to try, great things can be accomplished." I live by this now. Some around
me think my goal of being an example for other disabled people is a grandiose pipe dream, but
they don't know the possibilities. Warrior has taught me the concept of "Foke." Foke is an
intense concentration of your mind, spirit, body all towards the task at hand. Once I adapted this
concept, I learned that there are many things I can do, even when in great pain, if I just foke on
the goal. I may not achieve this goal, but it will not be from lack of effort. All I am is going into
this, and I will not stop until I either get there, or die trying.
Take Chances
If there is something you want to try, go for it. If you don't, the old specter of regret will darken your
door years down the road. How many of us have ran into an old girlfriend/boyfriend and
wondered how life would be only if... Well, if there is someone out there you want to date, GO
FOR IT! Do not marry someone else down the road only to have them pay for your regret. If you
don't put your heart on the line, you never may know the true joys which await you. If Raine and I
had not taken the big chance on each other, I would probably still be a sedated zombie content to
survive day to day. I am so glad we tried.
Some think it is foolish of me to write letters to the media to ask for their help in spreading this
message. Well, what is the worst that can happen? They don't contact me? Guess what, if I
hadn't written the letters, they wouldn't have contacted me anyway, I have lost nothing. Heck, I
even faxed the White House. If you are going to dream, dream BIG.
Be well,
Sponge
Regret happens to all of us eventually. Regret occurs when time has passed us by and we all
look at our lives and say "What if I had..." Well, this is what leads men in their 40s to cheat on
their wives, buy expensive sports cars, etc. Regret is the chief contributor to mid-life crises.
When we see that our lives are suddenly half over, we panic to try to do the things we always
wanted to.
What is the solution?
As early as you can in your life, make a list of your main goals, ten is a good number to start with.
No matter what they are, foke on those goals and seeing them to fruition. Whatever you value for
your life, keep striving towards that. When we do not have goals we tend to stagnate. As I have
said before, when you stop moving forward you start moving backwards, and that is dangerous.
So many people look like zombies just going through the motions day after day, subsisting one
week to the next. Set goals and work for them. However, in this process, be wise and do not let
the means to a goal become the goal itself. What I mean by this is, do not let a career become
more important than the reasons you have a career. One question I ask a lot of stressed out
workaholics I talk to is, "Do you have a career to support your family, or a family to support your
career?" For myself, bowling is the MEANS by which I hope to set an example for other disabled
people, not the end. Bowling is my way to get off a government check and support my family, not
to have my family support my bowling.
Once I started working after my first bout of disability, I shamefully lost that vision. I was working
up to 96 hours per week. All I cared about was moving up the job ladder. No matter how much
money I made, it never seemed like enough. Thankfully God gave me another brush with death
to help me put things back in perspective. I will not squander this chance again.
What if I can't reach my goal?
As I have said before, not achieving a goal is NOT failure. You only fail if you stop striving for that
or any other goal. Thomas Edison and other inventors did not give up with their first errant
attempt. If they had, we still would be using Warm Morning stoves to heat our homes. When you
give up, you lose the game of life and become just another zombie. For your sake, do NOT let
that happen.
Dream BIG
There is no such thing as too big of a dream. Look at all of the people who came to this great
country with literally nothing, but they had dreams, and they worked for them. One thing I have
learned is that no dream is too big or too grandiose. John Kennedy said that we chose to go to
the moon and do other things "Not because they are easy, but because they are hard." He was,
and still is, right.
Rick Hansen, one of my role models, could have easily sat back in his wheelchair and lived off of
the dole. I am sure that when he came up with the idea for the Man in Motion tour-wheeling the
equivalent of the circumference of the earth-some around him were nay-sayers.
Well, Rick took slightly over two years, but he did it. He wheeled over 24,000 miles through
dozens of countries to raise over $26,000,000 for spinal-cord research and raise awareness of
people with disabilities. His motto, which hangs above my desk, is, "If you believe in a dream
and have the courage to try, great things can be accomplished." I live by this now. Some around
me think my goal of being an example for other disabled people is a grandiose pipe dream, but
they don't know the possibilities. Warrior has taught me the concept of "Foke." Foke is an
intense concentration of your mind, spirit, body all towards the task at hand. Once I adapted this
concept, I learned that there are many things I can do, even when in great pain, if I just foke on
the goal. I may not achieve this goal, but it will not be from lack of effort. All I am is going into
this, and I will not stop until I either get there, or die trying.
Take Chances
If there is something you want to try, go for it. If you don't, the old specter of regret will darken your
door years down the road. How many of us have ran into an old girlfriend/boyfriend and
wondered how life would be only if... Well, if there is someone out there you want to date, GO
FOR IT! Do not marry someone else down the road only to have them pay for your regret. If you
don't put your heart on the line, you never may know the true joys which await you. If Raine and I
had not taken the big chance on each other, I would probably still be a sedated zombie content to
survive day to day. I am so glad we tried.
Some think it is foolish of me to write letters to the media to ask for their help in spreading this
message. Well, what is the worst that can happen? They don't contact me? Guess what, if I
hadn't written the letters, they wouldn't have contacted me anyway, I have lost nothing. Heck, I
even faxed the White House. If you are going to dream, dream BIG.
Be well,
Sponge
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