| SUCCESS VS. FAILURE |
Too many times in my life the goals I set for myself have not panned out. I worked 60
hours a week to get through college to become an accountant, only to have my body
fail me. The period of disability that followed was a low point. I wasted so much time
telling myself how I had failed.
I could not find anyone willing to look past my disability and give me an accounting job,
so I got a job bagging groceries for minimum wage at H-E-B in Georgetown, Texas.
Within a year I was promoted to assistant service manager and had my pay nearly
doubled. After Ally was born my first wife, Kim, and I decided to return to Kentucky. I
took a job as an assistant manager for a burger place in Murray, Kentucky. Within a
few years the Crohn's and the bipolar disorder put me out of commission for some time
again. A few years later I took a job in the banking industry and things went fine for a
while. But as time passed, the illness came back full bore and the doctor told me it was
time to retire, that I obviously could not work full time. Once again I lamented what I
saw as my failure. I went on disability for the fourth time.
These events were caused by circumstances I could not control, yet I insisted on
wearing a hair shirt about it all. I was very angry with myself that my wife had to work to
support me and our financial situation is just above the poverty line. When Raine went
into a coma last year, my sense of failure became worse. Here I am on the verge of a
professional bowling career, and the illnesses are working against me again, yes I
became very angry.
Warrior (as in Ultimate) emailed me again and told me to knock it off and stop pitying
myself. He said what others were afraid to say, and I thank him for it; he is a good
friend.
I realize now that commitment, in and of itself, is a success. Whether you "lose" or
"fail" is irrelevant if you give it your all. Not achieving a goal is not failure, not
reaching for a goal is the failure. The commitment and the effort become the
success.
If an illness or something else blocks your path, find a new path. Find a way around
the roadblock. Find a new career alternative. I chose bowling because it gives me the
freedom to take a week off to recuperate if need be; no fear of getting fired. Look at
Rick Hansen, he is a paraplegic who wheel chaired over 24,000 miles to raise money
for research, he is no failure. Look at Christopher Reeve, a quadriplegic who still acts.
Look at the singer Anastasia, she has Crohn's, and isn't ashamed of her scar. In
2003 she was struck with breast cancer, but a few months later was back on stage
singing "The Bi*** is Back." She is another one of my heroes.
If you do not achieve a goal, set a new goal and strive for it. Never stop setting goals
for yourself. To stop moving forward is to start moving backward, that is the law of
physics. Aiming for goals keeps me foked, determined, and strong.
Be well,
Sponge
hours a week to get through college to become an accountant, only to have my body
fail me. The period of disability that followed was a low point. I wasted so much time
telling myself how I had failed.
I could not find anyone willing to look past my disability and give me an accounting job,
so I got a job bagging groceries for minimum wage at H-E-B in Georgetown, Texas.
Within a year I was promoted to assistant service manager and had my pay nearly
doubled. After Ally was born my first wife, Kim, and I decided to return to Kentucky. I
took a job as an assistant manager for a burger place in Murray, Kentucky. Within a
few years the Crohn's and the bipolar disorder put me out of commission for some time
again. A few years later I took a job in the banking industry and things went fine for a
while. But as time passed, the illness came back full bore and the doctor told me it was
time to retire, that I obviously could not work full time. Once again I lamented what I
saw as my failure. I went on disability for the fourth time.
These events were caused by circumstances I could not control, yet I insisted on
wearing a hair shirt about it all. I was very angry with myself that my wife had to work to
support me and our financial situation is just above the poverty line. When Raine went
into a coma last year, my sense of failure became worse. Here I am on the verge of a
professional bowling career, and the illnesses are working against me again, yes I
became very angry.
Warrior (as in Ultimate) emailed me again and told me to knock it off and stop pitying
myself. He said what others were afraid to say, and I thank him for it; he is a good
friend.
I realize now that commitment, in and of itself, is a success. Whether you "lose" or
"fail" is irrelevant if you give it your all. Not achieving a goal is not failure, not
reaching for a goal is the failure. The commitment and the effort become the
success.
If an illness or something else blocks your path, find a new path. Find a way around
the roadblock. Find a new career alternative. I chose bowling because it gives me the
freedom to take a week off to recuperate if need be; no fear of getting fired. Look at
Rick Hansen, he is a paraplegic who wheel chaired over 24,000 miles to raise money
for research, he is no failure. Look at Christopher Reeve, a quadriplegic who still acts.
Look at the singer Anastasia, she has Crohn's, and isn't ashamed of her scar. In
2003 she was struck with breast cancer, but a few months later was back on stage
singing "The Bi*** is Back." She is another one of my heroes.
If you do not achieve a goal, set a new goal and strive for it. Never stop setting goals
for yourself. To stop moving forward is to start moving backward, that is the law of
physics. Aiming for goals keeps me foked, determined, and strong.
Be well,
Sponge
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